4 Keys to Change and Transformation 

• Acknowledge there is a problem, there is something missing, there is something you’re not seeing within your own life. Acknowledge that what you’re living right now is not in alignment with what you want. Acknowledge where the problems are; acknowledge how you feel and give yourself permission to feel better. Acknowledge that you aren’t living your most purposeful, passionate, happy life.

• You have to be willing to first acknowledge that there is a problem, and the problem isn’t out there (in the world). We want to think, I would be happy if so and so changed, or my job changed or if I had more of this or more of that. Yet that isn’t the truth. What you need to change and what you need to acknowledge is not external, it is internal. All of what you need to shift, to change, to be happy, is within you. You’re not going to find it out there. You can try; certainly there are things in life that would make it much easier on you, but as a lot of successful people will tell you you can set goals and reach them, and still end up feeling empty.

• This is where the dissection starts - really identify it. Is it fear that’s stopping you from being happy? Are you just super comfortable in your life in a really uncomfortable way? Are you staying in your comfort zone because things are familiar to you? Are you staying in a job you hate because it’s all you’ve ever done, all you really know? Are you keeping people, friends, family around that make you feel less than, that hold you back, that don’t support your dreams? This is where we really need to get in and identify it. Are you just living a life where you’re playing it small because you have huge fears? Do you have limiting beliefs? Do you think happiness is for other people? This is where you need to go and rip it apart.

• All of us have unconscious - subconscious, programs and beliefs, triggers. We need to figure out what these things are because once you know what these things are once you've identified them then you can begin the process of discharging and releasing them.

• Learn the Universal laws, learn about how the Universe works, learn about your own psychology, and learn what it takes to shift your consciousness and change your mind; what it takes to heal these emotional things that are stuck within every cell in your body that repeat themselves. 

• Identify and learn about your ego - that inner critic. Ego is that voice inside your head that talks you out of the very things that you want to do and want to experience. Not only is your ego at work all the time, other people’s egos love to jump in and give you advice on how to live your life. That’s what you need to get to, but you have to educate yourself on how that works because in the place of transformation you need wisdom, you need knowledge, you need tools to shift and change your life. You need something to address the depression, to address and relieve the anxiety that keeps you stuck in a spin. You don’t have to stay there. All you need to do is uncover those things so that you can shift and change your life. 

• We were all born with a set, positive polarity. What that means is, we were born happy. We were born in a positive state, emotionally we were a blank slate. Certain events happened, and our polarity flips so that we’re no longer mostly positive and sometimes negative, it flips to mostly negative and once in a while positive. We need to flip the polarity back. I use a tool called EFT tapping that works brilliantly to flip the polarity back where it’s supposed to be and you can use that and employ that in a positive way to be able to shift through, disarm, and discharge that old emotional stuff to heal your past and heal your traumas because that’s what’s necessary. 

• In educating yourself you have to rewire and reprogram your brain, both conscious and unconscious. Science is now proving it’s the subconscious that runs most of the show. I’ve been talking about this for years, but science is actually proving it. Psychology is catching up too. Quantum physics has created this whole other vast knowledge base, and the scientific community is studying the brain more and more. Knowledge about what actually drives our motivations, our actions, and our patterns of behavior. Findings show a lot of it is the unconscious, things we don’t have access to. However, as you un-layer what is conscious, the unconscious things can bubble up to the surface so that you can actually tackle them. It is a layered process, layer upon layer, upon layer.

• Take action and apply tools to your life daily, consistently. As you do, you create a shift, allowing you to create a whole new way of being. It’s great to study, read books and all of that, but if you don’t apply things, you’re never going to experience a shift. Most people want change but it’s easier to just blame other people or circumstance for discontent in life. People don’t want to do the work to change, until they either become so uncomfortable in life or they lose someone or something important. If you lose enough in your life but continue to live the same way, you begin to lose yourself. At some point you realize you have to change your behaviors, you have to change yourself. Change requires facing the past and healing it. It requires changing the story you tell about your life.  As you heal, you retain the lessons from your past, but you reframe the story. You create a story you choose that is by intention, one that is deliberate. 

• Bottomline: You can live your life deliberately or you can live it in default mode. We all kick into default mode at any given time; someone triggers you and you instantaneously react. You don’t think about what you’re doing, what you’re saying, you just react. You feel rejected, offended, attacked so you strike back. Most people live in default mode, they don’t live deliberately, they don’t speak deliberately. You can catch yourself in default mode when you’re not even paying attention to what you’re doing driving your car. When you first learn how to drive a car you’re so conscious, you’re gripping the steering wheel and you’re aware of like every single car and you’re kind of jerking forward. You’re conscious, you’re paying attention but, after you’ve driven some several hundred times you start to listen to the radio, drift off into daydreams. You’re not even paying attention anymore, you’ve done it so many times it becomes an unconscious act. 

• To create a deliberate life and get out of default mode, you must commit to a process of growth and change. It’s not as hard as you think. It took me a long time because there weren’t people like me out there, we didn’t have the internet, we didn’t have online courses. In the past, you had to go to therapy for years, or you had to study it on your own. There’s good news. I’ve found in my own life and the lives of my clients, the more desperate you are for change the quicker you actually do change. The more uncomfortable you are, the quicker you experience growth because in that place of discomfort you are committed to change it.